Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

I did find the short sections about infants and toddlers very interesting. I think there should have been less emphasis on popularity and what it means to children. The section about people acting a certain way because of a group mentality rather than personal morals captured my attention.


This book is important.   May 3, 2002
Tw Rutledge (Nashville, Tennessee United States)
34 out of 37 found this review helpful

Alice Miller (author of The Drama of the Gifted Child and Breaking Down the Walls of Silence) has long emphasized that if we are serious about solving society's problems, we must focus on how we treat children --- as individual families and as a cultural. This book is an excellent contribution toward that end.

From thought-provoking observations to practical suggestions about solutions, Best Friends, Worst Enemies is an effective education about social problems that begin in childhood, but do not end in childhood. One point the authors make that interests me greatly is that when one child is being bullied by others, the majority of children witnessing the abuse will either do nothing to intervene or they will join in with the bullying. If you think that is not a reflection of the society in which we live, think again.

As a psychotherapist and author (Embracing Fear, HarperSanFrancisco) who emphasizes personal responsibility and facing fears head on, I hope that more than just parents and educators will read this book. I think there is something here for us all to think about --- no, to do something about.


Children's social lives   March 13, 2002
13 out of 16 found this review helpful

Outatanding book! It has valuable information for adults concerning what our kids social lives are like and how to help them when there is a problem. Children can be so cruel. The book sheds light on a world we as adults don't really understand. This book is well written and easy to read. I highly recommend it!


Shows how parents can understand and help children socially   February 19, 2002
K. Corn (Indianapolis,, IN United States)
22 out of 23 found this review helpful

After watching a feature documentary on the power of social relationships to shape a child's life into adulthood, I was already interested in learning more. This book filled the bill, especially the sections which revealed how children use power (and even bullying) to both include some children and exclude others. I think most of us remember the playground bullies but what this book did was show how parents can help to change bullying behavior, give their children skills to handle bullies and lessen the damaging effects of their behavior.
This book focuses on far more than bullies and those who purchase it will find it filled with rich insights into the social world of children and how they view their friendships and connections with other children.